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May 2003 Southsea Portsmouth |
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211 P.X.R. FOR PORTSMOUTH 2003.
IT STARTED WAY BACK IN MAY 2002 JUST AFTER OUR LAST WEEKEND WHEN I SENT OUT THE MANDATORY TRAINING ORDER,TO BE RETURNED POSTE HASTE.YOU MUST BE JOKING WAS A REPLY,AND THAT WAS MY MISSUS.IT WAS CALLED “BRAVE HEART”IT MUST HAVE BEEN BECAUSE KEN PEPPER WAS COMING BY CYCLE STARTING ON THE 1ST OF APRIL AND TRUE TO TRADITION GOT THEIR LAST.BOB WILLIS ASKED ABOUT M.M.A.THEN BRIAN LARCOMBE DEFYING ALL THE ODDS AND ELEMENTS SAID”HE WOULD TRY TOWALK THEIR.CHOOCHY WOOD SAID”GOD WILLING WITH HIS MINDER RON HALL BUT REQUIRED A RAILWAY WARRANT.
ALL THE 26 COMRADES THAT SAID”THEY WHERE COMING ALL ARRIVED SAFELY,WITH A HANDSHAKE,NICE TO SEE YOU AND ITS YOUR ROUND.THEN THE FIRST OF OUR NEW COMRADES ARRIVED VIC PITMAN TO SEE HIM WAS GREAT FOR EVERYONE AS I AM SURE IT WAS FOR HIMTHEN CAME DEE WITH HER TWO MINDERS WHO SHE TRIED TO AVOID ON THE TRAIN (JUST KIDDING) THE GRUESOME TWOSOME JOINED AT THE HIP DES AND GARY.AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST ALBERT JOHNSON WHO WAS GREETED WITH “WHERES YOUR BOOTS”.(JUST KIDDING AGAIN).IT WAS GREAT TO SEE THEM ALL AGAIN.
THE STORIES FLOWED FORTH WITH MR.D.WOODS TAKING CENTRE STAGE (NO-ONE ELSE COULD FIT ON)THEN I TOLD THEM OF MR.WOODS ANNUAL TRIP UP TO MY ESTABLISHMENT VIA THE HOSPITAL AGAIN,WHO HAS NOW BEEN PUT DOWN ON THEIR XMAS PARTY LIST.
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THE COMPETITION OR MAY I SAY LACK OF IT.IT WAS A FOUR BALL GOLFING EXHIBITION,THAT WAS PUTTING MIDLY.THEIR WAS A FEW RINGERS;LIKE SEVE FROMSON WHO HIT A QUITE MAGNIFICENT DRIVE ALL OF NINE FEET AND LOST THE BALL;THEN THERE WAS TONY JACKLIN HOGAN WHO FOUND OUT HE HAD A HOLE IN HIS CLUB JUST THE SIZE OF THE BALL AND PROMPTLY GIVE IT TO DEE LYLE WHO CONFIRMED HIS THEORY.THE BEST SHOT OF THE COMPETITION MUST GO TO VIC AZINGER WHO NOT ONLY HIT IT OVER THE TWENTY FOOT FENCE BUT IN TRUE 211 TRADITION HIT A MOVING TARGET WHICH WAS A CAR THAT HAPPENED TO PASS AT THE TIME.THEN IT CAME TO A HEAD WHEN TIGER WOODS (SCOUSE WOODS THAT IS )STARTED WITH SOME EXCELLENT SHOTS BUT AHEAD OF HIM ALREADY IN THE CLUB HOUSE WITH A WONDERFUL ROUND.(TWO PINTS OF BITTER & BACARDI & COKE )BOTH HANDS ON THE TROPHY,WAS THAT PROLIFIC GOLFER HENRY COTTON WHITE. THERE WAS A BIT OF A WAIT TO LEAVE THE GOLF COURSE BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS WATCHING THE LAST FOURBALL AND IT WASN,T OURS? WE THEN ALL WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS FOR THE AFTERNOON,SOME GOING TO THE VICTORY,SOME GOING TO GOSPORT,OTHERS GOING ROUND TOWN AND SOME FOR A LAY DOWN TO BE FIGHTING FIT FOR THE EVENING MEAL.
WE ALL MET IN THE BAR AND HAD A DRINK ON THE COMRADES WHO COULD NOT MAKE IT BUT ASKED ME TO BUY THE LADS A DRINK.AT THIS POINT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THE WINE WAS KINDLY DONATED BY JOHN HALEY,WHICH WAS TOLD TO THE COMRADES AT THE MEAL.BRIAN FINLAND TOOK THE HEAD OF THE TABLE AND WELCOMED ALL OUR NEW COMRADES,THE TOASTS WERE GIVEN AND WE ALL SAT DOWN FOR AN EXCELLENT MEAL(WHICH I MAY ADD THAT THE FOOD AND SERVICE WERE SECOND TO NONE)AFTER THE MEAL DIXIE STOOD UP AND GAVE A TOAST TO ABSENT COMRADES,WHERE EVERYONES NAME WAS READ OUT,PLUS THE NAMES OF DAUGHTERS AND SONS WHO WHERE IN IRAQ.THEN DIXIE SAID,”HE DID NOT UNDERSTAND THIS SHOCK AND AWE TACTIC THAT PRESIDENT BUSH TALKED ABOUT UNTIL HE FOUND OUT THAT PRESIDENT BUSH NEW THAT OUR VERY OWN TIMMY NIGHTINGALE WAS ON HIS WAY TO IRAQ TO UPHOLD THE 211 TRADITION.
WE THEN ADJOURNED TO A LOUNGE TO FINISH OUR MEETING,ALBERT JOHNSON KINDLY SAID”HE WOULD LOOK INTO A WEBSITE FOR US”.WE DECIDED ON GOING TO BLACKPOOL NEXT YEAR AND KEN AND BRIAN WERE GOING TO TAKE THAT ON BOARD AND WOULD REPORT BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.I INFORMED ALL COMRADES THAT THE BALANCE TO-DATE WAS £300-80 PENCE.THE ANNUAL FEEWOULD BE £5 AS PER NORMAL AND AS RON HALL DID A FABULOUS JOB WE FOUND THAT THE COMRADES WHO PAID FOR THE WEEKEND,THEIR ANNUAL FEE WAS PAID AS THE WHOLE WEEKEND CAME TO £5 LESS THAN PREDICTED.THE MEETING WAS CLOSED BUT NOT BEFORE DIXIE TOLD EVERYONE THAT HE WAS PUTTING ON THE VIDEO THAT HAS BEEN PRODUCED BY HIMSELF,D PERRY AND J.DUNNE.THIS WAS THE VIDEO OF THE SCARBOROUGH WEEKEND.THEN EVERYONE ADJOURNED TO THE BAR FOR THE USUAL GAME OF CARDS FOR DIXIES BEER MONEY BUT COOL HAND JOHNSON HAD OTHER IDEAS WITH SOME TRICKS OF HIS OWN.THE ROAR OF THE CROWD ,THE GREEN BAIZE AND OF COURSE THE MARKED CARDS.
THE SNATCH BLOCKS CAME OUT,THE WORLD WAS PUT TO RIGHT AND OF COURSE THE USUAL BANTER AND QUIET WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT LIKE YOU CHEAT FINLAND,BY THIS TIME SCOUSE WOODS HAD THROWN HIS CLUBS AWAY AND THEY WHERE THERE CARDS HE HAD BEEN DEALT,FROM SHUFFLING RON.WELL THE NIGHT WENT ON AND ONE BY ONE WE RETURNED TO OUR PITS(BEDROOM).
THE FOLLOWING MORNING AFTER BREAKFAST IT WAS AGAIN TIME TO SAY FAREWELL FOR ANOTHER YEAR AND WE THEN ALL DEPARTED TO GO ON OUR JOURNEY BACK HOME TO TELL OUR STORIES AND LOOK FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR.
AT THIS POINT I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE WIVES,GIRLFRIENDS AND PARTNERS FOR GIVING UP SO MUCH SO THE COMRADES COULD GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND.(THANK YOU).
John Hughes |